Summary: Well, we’ve done it. The LGBT community has made so much progress that, unknowingly, we’ve actually become more privileged than the heterosexual majority. Do not fret, readers! Some heroic, MUCH NEEDED UK heterosexuals have started a Straight Pride group. Like Gay Pride. But straight. Sooooo…….. yikes. If you are an oppressed heterosexual, you can find comfort here, at the Straight Pride website.
The Queer Response: If this is what the world is coming to, I’m pretty sure I’m ready to die. I have been this shocked and awed by something since last night’s episode of Game of Thrones.
I’m struggling to even put together a cohesive argument against an organization called “Straight Pride.” Like adult Lindsay Lohan, there is NO reason for this group to exist. Since when are heterosexuals the victims of discrimination? Is it even possible, by definition, for a ~90% majority (straights) to be discriminated against by the ~10% minority? Furthermore, IS LOGIC NOW AN OPTIONAL COMPONENT OF THOUGHT PROCESSES? Let’s take a look at some of the gem-like quotes found on the site:
Straight Pride: moving forward for equal heterosexual rights.
Hey! I support equal rights. This sounds like something I could get on board with! What rights are you presently lacking, if I might ask?
[Homosexuals] have the right to take over city streets, dress ridiculously, and parade with danger and contempt.
Oh… I mean, I’m not sure that’s really a unique right of homosexuals? Pretty much anybody can do that. What else is on your mind?
Modern society has come to look down upon the heterosexual mainstream as being unwilling to accept the homosexuals who have chosen to be different.
Oh silly you, it’s not a choice – but that’s its own issue. Now I’m starting to see your point, though! Modern society does look down on straights. That’s why they can’t get married, they can’t get equal benefits for their partners, they can’t adopt children, they don’t have the same employment protection, and straight youth are bullied incessantly because of their sexual orientation. Wait… it’s either straights or non-straights that those things apply to. Someone fact check this!
If gay people have pride, why shouldn’t straight people have it too?
Yea! You’re right! They should have pride. Everyone should be proud to be themselves. No open-minded person would deny that.
Homosexuals have more rights then others, they also have ‘special rights’ which trump others, cause problems for faith organizations, hotels, alike, heterosexuals must have rights to refuse, it is not ‘homophobic’ or ‘bigoted’ it is a persons right to without fear of being silence or abused.
*than others; **a person’s right
The overall grammatical/syntactical construct of this sentence is appalling. Also, you have “the right to refuse” homosexual ideas. Just like racism isn’t illegal, neither is homophobia. Also, homosexuals have no “special rights” – we’re still working on all those basic ones (see a rather brief list above). Also, every YouTube commenter in the world called; they want their run-on sentences back!
We want the right to march and say that we are straight and proud.
YOU HAVE THIS RIGHT ALREADY. What’s next? Men pining for the right to vote? 16 year olds demanding driver’s licenses? Women requesting equal pay? (OH WAIT, THAT LAST ONE STILL ISN’T A REALITY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?) I’m so mad I can’t even turn off caps lock!!
I’d like to conclude on a positive note. The Straight Pride site has an ah-maze-balls color scheme and I totes approve. I’d say this balances out the overall absurdity of their content, wouldn’t you, readers?